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Bus ka "Safar"/suffer
Ehsaan Quereshi - I liked this guy's style. The way he narrates his writings is something which I appreciate. His poems give you an experience of roller coaster, not that you will get an adrenalin rush, but it takes you up somewhere and then with some slapstick humor brings you down(even the intonation follows this principle). I have tried to write something which could be narrated in his style. If you plainly read the following lines then you will enjoy it but if you read it in Ehsaan bhai's style then i bet you will LOVE it!

Bus ka "Safar"/suffer
ek din main bus mein jaa raha tha
bus kaa driver bhi gajab dhaa raha tha
najaane kyon baar baar brake dabaa raha tha

main badi mushkil se sambhal paa raha tha
mera haath bhi handle se fislaa jaa raha tha

mera haath bhi kyaa kahun badaa shaitaaan hai
jo sambhaale naa sambhaltaa hai
jo nahi karna chahiye wahi kartaa hai

phir kyaa tha ,
bus handle se mera haath fisla , aur

ganje ki khopdi par jaake tehraa
ganje ne gusse se mujhe kiya ishaara
maine bhi chup chaap apna haath
uski khopdi se diya utaara , aur phir
maine liya handle kaa sahara , lekin

handle kaa mujhse shayaad puraana naata tha
use bhi mera saara hisaab aaj hi chukta karna tha

usne phir mujhe dhoka de diya , aur
maine haath phir usi ganje ki khopdi par rakh diya

is baar toh ganje kaa bhi chadh gaya paara
turunt hi khadaa ho gaya bechara

aur mujhse kaha , "baith , aa mere sar pe baith !!!"
maine kaha , "baith toh jaaun, par kyaa mujhe sambhaal paoge ?"
usne pucha , "kyon ?"
maine kaha , "itni chikni khopdi hai , kahin main vahaan se bhi fisal gaya toh ?"

public ko lagaa dum meri baat mein bhi tha , kyon ki
ganje ki khopdi pe tel zara bhi kum naa tha

ganje ne meri baat ko seriously nahi liya
aur jahaan baitha ta vahin chup chaap baith gaya

waise upar ki do panktiyon ke beech vaali ek ghatna
maine aapko nahi hai sunaai , kyon ki
hinsa se mujhe sakt nafrat hai mere bhai

aap samajh hi gaye honge mere haal kyaa hua hoga
aage jo hua woh aapke saamne hai aur
meri sujhi hui aankh bhi ab thik hone ko hai

is haadse ke baad main bus mein thoda aur aage badhaa
aur ladies seat ke paas jaakar hua khadaa

aurtein svabaav se naram hoti hai , par saavdhan
andar se kaafi garam hoti hai

yehi khayaal mere man mein aa raha tha , ke

tabhi driver ne phir brake dabaaya aur
mera haath bagal waali ladki ki kamar sair kar aaya
shaayad use yeh pasand nahi aaya , isliye
usne mujhe do kheench ke lagaaya

thappad kaa asar itna gehra tha
shaayad main vahin ho gaya behraa tha

woh boli , " yeh kyaa karte ho , jahaan ladki dekhi wahaan chance maarte ho ?"
main bola , "chance toh kyaa , dance bhi nahi kartaa
apni biwi ke alaava kisi aur ke saath romance nahi karta

meri mat hi gai thi maari , ke main is bus mein aakar tha chadhaa
aur baaki rahaa toh tumhaare paas aakar mein hua khadhaa

ab kabhi naa main bus mein savaari karunga
naa kisi ladki ki bagal mein jaakar khada rahunga

aise anubhav karne se behtar hai
main umr bhar paidal chalunga ......
main umr bhar paidal chalunga ......


Please do share some of your such 'anubhavs'!

11:03 PM | Category: , | 1 comments

You’ve got SPAM!
I arrive at the office and head straight to the pantry to have some breakfast. Co-workers meet up and we talk everything from the Large-Hadron-Collider to “Large-Hadron-Collider”;) . The wink should explain it all but if you are still dumb enough and don't understand what guys talk about then this post should help you out. After all the daily rituals, finally, I realize that it is time to do some work. Yes I do work when people are not watching me. Part of my work involves checking my e-mails. I get mails of different kinds everyday which range from daily tasks from my managers to some funny forwards from my friends. So I open my mailbox and check the first one. It says, “Make the small man in you stand strong and proud with our simple remedy ”. For a minute I sat there in stunned silence. I thought, “What was my manager even thinking before sending me such a mail, I mean what kind of task is this!!”. To my relief when I scrutinized the mail I found out that it was yet another SPAM!

What I don’t understand is that how on earth, for SPAM, someone comes up with a different subject everytime! I get SPAM wherein the subject says - Get hard lightning fast, Britney drops top at mall, watch her suck off, Reach so needed measurement, She'll beg for more, We offer you happiness, More pleasure wit less efforts, Get her in the mood every night, Take her in many different ways, but always deep!! and many, many more which makes the list endless.

Now, back to my work place. I go through my to do list. Start working on one of them and there it comes - another mail pop-up. This time it says “Pamela Anderson stunning porno dvd.” Get another one after that which says “Drew Barrymore Nu de. She's been known to take her top off for just about anyone. See her n'ked!” I am not sure what the spammers wanted to proove. Were they trying to say that, “Yes, we do SPAM about things other than your genitals!”? I like the content of the SPAM which I receive because tt is written very “articulately”. Now that is some skill which I would like to learn. Of course, not to market these products (but that's only for now, the IT industry may be in crisis anytime!) . They use words such as “rod”, “pole”, “gun”, “monster” and not the acutal words which may sound quite "indecent". Sometimes I do wonder if these spammers are actually some teenage girls!

Co-incidence is what I want to believe in. We talk about the news where a kid uses a gun in school to shoot his fellow classmates. Later, I see a spam which says “When your lassie sees your new big love gun, she'll be beside herself with excitement!Take a step towards pure male power!” I wonder why the kid did not use his "love gun" instead of a real gun. Atleast there would have been some peace!

Let me throw in few more from the ones which I have received today:
“Powerful help for boosting your libido and stimulate your girl to a new high.”
“Watch her writh in ecstasy from your longer length”
“Make your man rod thick and strong with our natural herbs. It worked for thousands of men worldwide. Now it’s yours."
“Drive her crazy with desire and lust once she sees your monster”
“She is crazy for you, and she will keep craving for you every night”
“Celebrate independence day in bed with your wife”
“Photos of your wife cheating you Video”

Quite innovative innit?

They are celebrating “Innovation Week” at my work place. Here they talk what innovation is all about and how to be innovative at your work place. Ironically, I started receving the most innovative spam during this time period!
1:17 AM | Category: | 0 comments