Mere Bol Bachchan...

It was William Shakespeare who wrote ‘What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.’ I am not here to defeat the literary genius on this point. A name is something which distinguishes one from another. However, this so called something – ‘name’ is not what I want to discuss here but names that express affection. Yes, pet names.

Speaking of me, few people know that I am known by many names. To begin with, my childhood pet name was one of the most common Gujarati pet names – ‘Laaloo’. For people who are not aware that this name is a common Gujarati pet name, they often confuse it for Laaloo Prasad Yadav and wonder why any parent would call their kid affectionately with such a name. Basically, ‘Laalo’ is how few people refer to Lord Shree Krishna. So when people see cute little children, playing around the house, messing up things they name them with different versions of Laalo. Yes different versions of same name. Like at different stages in my life I was called up as – Laaloo, Laalo, Laala and even Laali sometimes when my mom was in a very affectionate mood. Oh I am sorry I forgot to mention you the Marathi version of that name, it is – ‘Laalya’. My neighbors were Maharastrian and they found this name much more preferable over the other names which I mentioned. I am sure reading those names sounds nothing more than a nursery rhyme or humming out a lullaby, but for me they will always be words of motherly affection.

I was born in 1985. Few months before my birth a squadron leader and pilot with the Indian Air Force embarked on the historic mission in 1984 as part of a joint space program between the Indian Space Research Organization and the Soviet Intercosmos space program and spent eight days in space. His name was Rakesh Sharma and my Grandfather was very much impressed with this man. My grandfather (father’s father) had big dreams for me and named me – ‘Rakesh’. I was too young when he rested in peace. In fact, I was so young that because of not having an understanding of what, actually, has happened - I could not even cry on his funeral. May be this is what he wanted, he did not want me to cry but he wanted me to smile forever and to fly and touch the skies. Of course, I am not an astronaut today to go in space but I am an optimist. News flashed few days back which said ‘Now you can easily travel in space – just need 125 crores INR’. Needless to say I switched back to the channel of reality – the channel of life.

I am not a silly person to say that by mentioning grandfather I, actually, meant my father’s father but there is a reason for this. Though it was him who named me ‘Rakesh’, none of the relatives from my father’s side called me with this name. For them I was always laaloo or laaloo bhai for my cousins. But few relatives from my mother’s side they still call me by this name. This aroused a lot of confusion in my mind as confused as you are now while reading this. What I could never understand is that why people from same house called me with different names. Like my mothers brother, his wife and their son they all call me Rakesh but their daughter she calls me – ‘Gopal’. Yet another name added to my list, I had no objections and questions to this.

For people like us (me and my friends!) the definition of pet name varies from person to person. Affection might not be the only reason, sometimes the reason might originate from the place a person belongs to, like my friend ‘Chuna’ who actually stays at Chunabhatti. It was not just Chuna, there were many others like Virus, Chimni, Bachha, Mowgli, Gud, Mankhurd and the funniest being ‘Babloo Blousepiece’. I would have liked to share the story behind that name but I have another one which is about my friend ‘Vasu’ (obviously his real name is not Vasu!). In college days we used pair up most of our friends with a girl or two. This way you can easily harass both the girls and boys. So this guy was paired up with a girl named Sapna. One day, someone mentioned that he saw a movie named ‘Ek duje ke liye’ which was basically love story and the name of the couple in the movie was ‘Vasu-Sapna’. Till this day we call this guy Vasu and he gets frustrated with that. For this poor guy one name was not enough. A professor of ours, in one of the lectures, noticed my friend talking with his bench mates. Now I don't know what made him so furious that he actually threw a duster at my friend. My friend had to take three stitches and there you go, he got his new name – ‘Takya’.

Going back to college, where we paired up vasu and sapna, why would everyone spare me? They paired up me with this girl whom every called ‘Rock’. At many occasions she was noticed raising her one eyebrow quite like what Rock the wrestler did. So they aptly named her Rock. Now poor girl was already much irritated with the new name and because my friends could no longer call her with this name they named me Rock. They used to shout this name till they died with satisfaction that she was harassed. But whatever might me the reason to keep a name for a person other than his actual name, sooner or later this reason vanishes. What remains is just the name. Even today when I refer to my friend as Vasu it is not because I actually rethink the whole story behind that name but because it reminds me of the days we spent together. And today on phone when I talk to my friend, who is in US, he still calls me Rocky not because he wants to irk that girl, but over a period of time this is what we got used to. It is like if you are used to referring someone as Chirounjilaal you just cannot start calling him Salman from next day. By the way, for the curious souls, let me tell you that the girl is happily married.

BHAPIE – this is one absurd name given to me. During our submissions in my final year engineering I had my project report in my hand. The font spacing on the report cover was not accurate and it made the double T in my surname to appear as ? (pie). My friend actually read it as a pie and derived this Bhapie. Adding a few more usual ones derived directly from my name – Raj, Raju, Raju-Kaju and Rajib. Not to forget the ‘Mote’, as there was a time when I was healthy enough for people to call me a fatty. Trust me, you can figure out the affection when someone calls you ‘Aye Mote’. Gone are the days when I was referred as the fatty, the motu. They no longer call me laaloo. While few still continue referring me with other names.

My name gives me an identity. It gives identity to my deeds. The names which I mentioned earlier are all different ways of affection of my friends and family towards me.Not that I do not know the meaning of my name. My actual name means Lotus flower. But just to improve your general knowledge I performed a search on Google for the meaning of my name and what I found is this – “Your name means ‘lotus flower’, derived from the Sanskrit origin meaning ‘striped.’ There was a prominent Indian politician with your name who was assassinated in 1991.” On that hysteric note I present you my name – Rajiv.

(... continued from first Post. )

‘ah la la la’l…life is beautiful... ah la la la’l life goes full circle’ went the song which the two guitarist, in front of me, were trying to rehearse. And I thought how true it was. Life always goes in full circles, there are situations when you just feel that this moment, this very moment should pass away, you struggle every moment hoping so that you can rest in peace only to find out later in life that life has really gone in full circle!. When the guy plucked the first string of guitar, I thought that for me learning guitar is a much better alternative when compared to piano. Few days back my roommate had asked me if we could join the piano lessons.Although music is food for my soul, I still resisted.But now after listening to the acoustic guitar, I decided to add up this activity to my wishlist and to try and find out a tutor from any corner of this island.On our way back home from office,we were humming to old melodic songs. My roommate(the one who talked about getting piano lessons) wondered aloud that it was in these moments that he felt one should know how to play atleast one musical instrument, I agreed with him. True that I do not know about any musical instrument “uh .. may be, that’s why I sing??” was my reply. “But you do not even know how to sing!” . Because I could not beat him on that point I simply pressed on the gas, took a left turn and we were there – home.Actually, home away from home.

Natasha(name changed!) was the name of my trainer. I do not know how and why now this name came to my mind but not yesterday while I am also still trying to remember the lady’s name from Sampoorna office.I had to appear for the test on Thursday ,however, because of such short notice I was very nervous. No matter how much time the sun shines in the sky it has to set, it never complains or gets nervous before going down the horizon.The sun never complains about short notices then why should I? Back then I did complain and I still appeared for the test giving the most common excuse – ‘Not feeling well’. People like me have so made these words a cliché; the extent to which one can no longer use these words even when he is actually not feeling well!. When I returned home after the test,I had ramdom thoughts in my mind. The kind of thoughts one usually gets when he knows that something wrong was done knowingly. I was wondering what conclusions Ms. Trainer must have derived from the most frequently used cliché. Next day, things weren’t that bad she asked me how was I feeling, and gave us some call center sorta assignment(in which I peformed well!), then I had a relaxing weekend.Monday morning the people in the city had to face torrential rainfall. Neither the clouds were tired to pour down water from the skies nor I to wait for the call regarding my performance in the test. This week we were supposed to work in a 2pm-11pm shift.And in the relaxing weekend I forgot to prepare for the assignment which we were supposed to submit on Monday. The call center cab came at around 12:30 near Nerul railway station. Only between 9pm-7am they give a ‘pickup and drop from home’ facility, all other times we need to go to the nearest checkpoint.I was there in the cab waiting for another employee to join in. The cab driver went to have a pan and asked me to honk when the other guy arrives. Just when he reached the pan shop my phone rang. Renita(name changed!) told me that I had cleared the first round and had to attend tomorrow interview next day morning 10:30pm sharp in Pune.Finally, yes Renita was the lady’s name from the Sampoorna office! But hey Pune?? tomorrow? Such a short notice .. not again!! I jumped out of my seat and headed straight towards home. By the way I had tried hard to recollect her name but thanks to Rediff. The cab driver, with pan in his mouth, saw me leaving his cab. He raised his hand and tried to call me. He was finding it difficult to pronounce words because of the pan in his mouth. I looked back and waved him off with a smile on my face.

After the expressway was open to all, Pune was just a 2-3 hours drive from nerul. I had planned to catch a bus, from the Nerul highway to Pune , at six in the morning. I had to wait more than a hour for the bus which is not the usual case.Entered Pune city at wrong time – peak hours. Traffic choked all the arteries of the city and there I was sitting in the bus swearing at the traffic around just because I was late for my interview!. After I got off the bus, the first thing I had to do was to inform Renita that I was late for the interview. I did that and was comforted by her when she told me to talk to the HR guy in Pune and explain him the situation. It was 3pm when I reached the I.T. firm. Instead of asking an explanation for my late arrival I was asked to have a lunch in the cafeteria. After this I was totally relaxed, cleared all the rounds of interview and after around 3 hours I was done with all formalities which asked me to join the firm in Pune from next Monday. While signing the contract papers I could see myselves turning back and waving off to the cab driver. Then I realized that it was not the cab driver whom I waved off but it was the call center job.

I no longer needed the call center job. It was one which I had taken up to spent my idle time in vacations. But vacation was about to end. I had to wrap up everything by that weekend so that next week onwards my life could move on from Pune.I did not turn up for the call center job for the next two days. I went there on Friday morning and submitted my resignation papers. Perhaps if you did not notice that italicised morning in the previous sentence indicates the absence of Natasha from office in the early hours. When asked for the reason to leave the call center job I told them about my Post graduation plans. Almost every day after final year results someone or the other was talking about Post graduation plans so it did not take much time for me to come up with the reason for leaving the job.The seniors in the office offered their best but I couldn’t tell them the simple truth of life that ‘fate’s calling’ instead I lied.That evening Natasha gave me a call and asked me about my disappearance from the office. I told her the entire story and also about my resignation.At that point of time, I felt, she overreacted.After laughing off at her reaction I simply forgot her. But how could I forget that she was my trainer in other words ‘guru’. Since childhood I have been taught ‘Guru brahma, guru Vishnu, guru devo maheshwara; guru sakshat parabrahma tasmay shree guruvey namah’ meaning – ‘The guru is the creator, the guru is the preserver, and the guru is the destroyer. The guru is the Absolute. I bow before you. ’ Today I confess. I am sorry Natasha. Natasha was my guru because she taught me the hard way that a graceful exit is a sign of maturity, something which I lacked at that moment.

So it has been almost a year that I have been working here in Cyprus. But before I begin let me take a deep sigh. A sigh is usually taken when you get a feeling of relief or some kind of sorrow but this one was for neither of them. This one was for all the moments which I have missed sharing with my friends and family and not knowing how many more I am going to. First thought I had in mind before writing this blog is that I will not write it from the beginning but I would rather interweave it. You will get to see what is going on in the present with some flashbacks of past, shedding light on unknown things, and may be some bits and pieces of future.

Today it is 1st of October, the Independence Day of Cyprus, a public holiday here but not for me. Not that I was not given a chance to take a holiday but it was me who decided to come to office and work which was much more preferable compared to what I do on holidays. The day was just not like the usual ones had many ups and downs (downs more!) moreover I almost had a war but life goes on. Cyprus has always been a war land - 'yudhbhumi', where everyone has always been on a war, sometimes it is the Greek v/s the Egyptians, sometimes it is the Turks v/s the Greeks and sometimes it might be you on a war with yourselves. War against your past, your present and future. Not every war demands blood, some demand sacrifice and patience. Not every war is fought to become independent; sometimes it is fought because you have to become dependent on the situations around you and get used to it. Not every war is fought to win; sometimes it is fought to lose. Right now, even I am on a war to finish off this blog, similarly I see that people around me and every single person - everyone is on a war.

Everything started off like a dream. It was after my exams of final year engineering in Information Technology. I was already recruited by a renowned I.T. firm and hence I was enjoying my time back home with friends and family. I do not exactly recollect, since when, but my father always told my mom to get used to stay alone because he knew that I was going to leave them soon after my final year. We always laughed off his comments but not anymore. One evening, one of my friends gave me call and told me that off campus interviews are being conducted by an I.T. placement firm for an I.T. MNC from Pune and if I was interested I should call them. The criterion to appear for the test was to have secured 60% in all your semesters. Now out of the six semesters which I gave for my engineering there was one, the very first one, in which I had not secured 60%.I called up Sampoorna (the placement firm) and explained them about the situation. While still writing this blog, I am trying to remember the lady's name who picked up the phone at Sampoorna's office (I also performed a search in my Rediff mailbox for this!).I tried my best to convince her that I was eligible for the aptitude test, and the reply that I got was the usual one. I don’t mean 'yes' or 'no' by using the phrase 'usual one' here. But it indicates ones willingness to help, but cannot under the present circumstances. Then I hung up the phone hoping for her to call back again. Suddenly I realized that it is only hope that we can hold on to. And it is only because of hope that these wars go on. By the way I forgot to mention that in the mean while I was also busy with my call center job. After two days I got a call, asking me to appear for the aptitude test at the Don Bosco College of engineering on Thursday. So there begins a war.

I started with all my preparation while continuing with this call center job. I had not started taking calls yet, was just undergoing classroom training. It was a good experience, got to know about the culture in call center industry. About how it helps one become independent, how it can get you into wrong things, how it make you pronounce mate as 'maite' and today as 'to-die’. The best part was my working hours, 10:30pm-7:30am.Again a friend of mine had given me a reference for this job. I did not face any problem clearing this interview at least did not screw up as badly as I had when I went for my first call center interview three years back. I passed out from my diploma in computer technology in 2003.The admission procedure for engineering was about to change and was taking hell lot of time and I just could not waste all that time back home warming the chair in front of my computer. 'You have convincing skills but you need to improve upon your communication skills' - these were the words of the interviewer which was my first ever interview for an International Outbound call center job. After three years, I was back to square one, again in same situation just that the company was different and I am not trying to flatter my selves but even I was rather in a very good situation. ‘You are in' - were the words of the interviewer this time. It took roughly around thirty minutes to complete all the formalities and there I was - another victim of the call center boom.

I am getting very bad with names is my complaint. Usually I am not that bad.I,actually, try and remember a persons name because I believe people usually do not like it when others forget their names or even if they do not care, but at least if you remember their names it shows interest. I am trying hard to recollect the trainer’s name who was giving us the training on Australian accent, culture and English vocabulary and grammar. This time I cannot even search for her name in my rediff mailbox because I never e-mailed her. She actually did not fit in there as a trainer but rather appeared a lady who is in her early thirties, trying to prove everyone how much independent and confident she was. I do not intend to write much about her but it is what I did to her that makes me feel sorry.

To be continued … :)